Tired of being alone

I'm sick and tired of being alone. Having nobody. I know I keep saying that I need to get out and go places, but I hardly ever have the time.

This really does suck. I want to wake up and go to sleep knowing that she is there for me. I must sound desperate and that's really not what I'm going for.

I just want a woman who is down to earth, knows how to have a good time, has control of herself, has a good sense of humor. Looks are just a bonus.

I know I probably don't look like much when you first meet me. But I've seen people who have gotten to know me change. I'm a great guy. I have a sense of humor. I'm responsible, and I have control of myself.
I honestly think I'm judged before I've had the chance to be known. I guess that is their loss though.

Singing while playing.

I have about 10-12 songs I can play on the guitar and still be able to sing them. I'm not the best vocalist in the world, but when I played "Wherever you will go" by the Calling today, I sounded pretty damn good I thought. With a bit more practice I will have the strumming pattern and the tone of the lyrics down.

I want to learn to play and sing along with many more songs, but I can never thing of any, or they are too advanced for my playing level. Someday I know I will get there.

my best friend.

I best friend in the entire world came over yesterday for a short visit as he was going to a concert later that night. His name is Cougar. Yes, that's his real name.
We've known each other since 7th grade. We've been good friends ever since. We've been through a lot together. We've had a lot of great times, and bad times. I love him to death. He is like my brother.
He brought his girlfriend, Stephannie with him. She was also going to the concert. She is straight up gorgeous. I'm not gonna lie. She's a very nice person. Props to Cougar!
I wish that I still lived in Michigan so we all could hang out more.

I didn't want them to leave, but I knew they had to go. When they left, I got that alone feeling again. It sucked and still sucks. But it is what it is.

Im shy

I'm a shy person. I've been trying not to be so. Shy lately.
I wish I wasn't so shy. Its difficult starting a coversation with somebody that I don't know very well. I guess you could say that I'm not a very charasmatic person.
I just don't know what to say and it leads to that awkward silence.

writing it all down.

Lately I've felt the need to write some crap down. So that is why I've started this blog. Plus, probably nobody will read any of this anyways. So its all good. If people do read it, so what.

I would like to write my own Autobiography, but I'm pretty sure it would be the most boring, dull, and
un-entertaining thing imaginable. I haven't really done anything exciting in my life or have had any major accomplishments. The only accomplishment I've had was probably graduating High School and that's it.
But I think I'm going to write it out anyway... just because I can.

I would also like to write some stories. I could probably come up with some interesting and some crazy stuff. But we'll see. Whenever I actually try to write something, it turns out crappy.

Music and my life.

I love the impact that music has on me. I could be in the worst mood ever and listen to one of my favorite bands and it will cheer me up. Some of it's the lyrics, others the guitar. Its mostly Rock music that does this for me.

I've been playing guitar for 8 years now. I'm nowhere near as good as I should be. I'm self taught. I can play bits and pieces of a bunch of songs on the electric guitar. Whole songs on the Acoustic Guitar. Part of my problem on the Electric Guitar is that I can't do solo's very well. I don't have the finger dexterity to do it. I don't practice often enough to work on it.

Playing guitar is very cool. It can also be the most frustrating thing I've done. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so when I don't and/or can't get it right, it pisses me off and I quit playing for awhile. Like I said, I can't solo. Every time I try to, even to practice, I'm horrible at it. I after re-reading that, I guess I need to work on my patience also... I know I can do it, I just haven't worked up to that level of playing yet.

Every time I hear one of my favorite guitarists such as Jimmy Page, Slash, or Dimebag Darrel (RIP), it inspires me to play.

I've always wanted to play the drums ever since I was little. I've never played them before, but I think I'd be pretty good at it. Hearing drummers such as John Bonham (RIP) of Led Zeppelin makes me want to do it. Bonham has one of the most recognizable beats. I would know it was him within the first few beats.

Hopefully someday I will have access to a drumset so I can try it. ...and gain that title of "Multi-Inrumentalist".

Moral of all of this; Music is inspiring to me.

I've got friends in other places.

I've pretty much lost all of my school friends. Sure, we still keep in contact, but its just not the same. They are the party type. They go out drinking. Getting smashed, passing in somebody elses house that they don't even know. I don't see the joy in that. Now that I've moved out of Michigan, I never get to see them anymore.

Most of my best friends are people I've never met in person. All scattered about. I game with them. Great people.

What I do in my spare time.

I love music. Back in 7th grade just before Christmas Break, we had what they called "Winterfest" I think it was. They had various activities in different classrooms. Movies, Computers, Art, Archery, Guitar, Board Games, and a few others that I can't remember right now. Ted Nugent was head of the Archery Activity.

I signed up for the guitar activity. Thinking I was going to learn how to play the guitar, this was not the case. There were only 2 other kids who brought there guitars and they were just showing off there skills.  Well, word got to Ted that there was a Guitar activity going on. Much to our surprise, he came over and played some stuff for us! I got his autograph, and he gave several of us some guitar picks! Needless to say after that day, I just had to get a guitar.

In the duration of the next few weeks, My mom and I had gone shopping. I remember we were at Wal*Mart in the checkout lane. I was looking around and spotted an electric guitar. I'm sure my eyes popped out of my head at the point. I walked up to it and saw it was $150.00! I came with a few picks, a mini practice amp, a guitar strap, a pitch tuner, and a Song book. I thought this was a great deal. I knew my parents didn't have the money to buy it. Much to my surprise, My mom asked my sister to buy it for me as a birthday present. She agreed. The day that I got it, I had my friend Sam with me and my sisters boyfriend (now husband) with her.
So we got to Wal*Mart, I bought it, and back home we went. On the way home, my sister tried to make something of her "Date" and stopped for some ice cream. Sam and I didn't want any. We just wanted to get back to my house and play. Jon (my sister's husband) and Amber (my sister) got back into the car. Ate there ice cream and that when the next event happened. She puts the car in drive instead of reverse and rear-ends the car in front of her. I was freaking out. She was freaking out. Jon was saying that it was his fault for some stupid reason when it really wasn't. The people she hit were nice about it. She didn't do any damage to either car. So went went home in silence.

When we got home, I opened up my big mouth and told mom. She freaked out, just because I did that, Amber made up an excuse that I was yelling at her... blah blah blah...I got grounded aaaand back to Wal*Mart the guitar went.

That summer, The neighbors asked me to mow their lawn for the summer and I agreed. So that is how I earned enough money to purchase the guitar again. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Now days when I play it, its horrible. Now that I can play guitar half decently, I probably would have never bought that guitar. But for some reason, I can't bring myself to get rid of it.

A few years later down the road, I bought a used Gibson Les Paul. This is my main electric guitar now. It plays great, sounds great, and is a great guitar all around!

I also bought an Acoustic Guitar off of eBay for $.01. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but when I received it, a quickly realized why it was only a penny. They painted the fretboard along with the frets. So you had a really crappy sound and played just awfully. I'm still in the process of trying to re-finish it. Its a work in progress. The only reason I keep it is because I etched the Led Zeppelin Swan into the body of the guitar. It looks awesome.

A few years ago, I bought another, much better, almost high-end acoustic guitar with some of my tax returns. I love it. I've played it a lot recently as I've been wanting to learn and play more acoustic music.

And that's about it for my guitar hobby.

Another hobby of mine is video gaming. My dad had an NES (Nintendo Entertainment System) back in the day. I was playing Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario Bros. 3 every chance I could get. It just escalated from there.  I remember I got a Play Station for Christmas one year with Crash Bandicoot 3. I loved that game. I wish I still had that system and a few of the games I had. I had a friend over and he brought his Diver 2 game. Soon that became the coolest game ever. I was really into cars at that time and I really wanted to drive. So I just opted for the game.

The next year after the original Xbox came out, I got one as a gift for Christmas. It came with a couple games. I mostly remember Sega GT 2002. A racing game that I spent hours on.
I remember when my friend Sam had told me that Xbox was going to release the Grand Theft Auto Double Pack, which consisted of GTA III and GTA: Vice City. I told my mom about it. I told her what went on in the game because it was rated M. Much to my surprise she said it was okay! I have spent so many hours playing Vice City, I don't even think there is a number that can calculate it. I was in love with that game! Same with GTA: San Andreas when it was released.

In 2005 my dad bought Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005. That summer, I was working at the same place as he was, washing school buses. Every night when we got home from work, We'd play. It was awesome. I miss those days. I think that was probably the last game that was bought for the Original Xbox.

I got my Xbox360 as a Christmas/Birthday present. My parents didn't have a lot of money, and even though my birthday is in January, I didn't end up getting it until June. My first game for it was Need for Speed: Most Wanted. It was a great game. I loved how you could customize the cars.

I guess you could say that I'm still into driving games. My favorite genre is Sandbox style. These are games like the Grand Theft Auto and Saints Row series.
I must say that the Saints Row games are by far my most favorite. They are a lot like GTA, but less serious. I've always said since playing them that GTA is more of a serious type game whereas SR is more of a "blow shit up" type of game. Still, both great series.

I have gamer rage when it come to playing Shooters (war games) online against other people. Some people just don't play fair, other times its the game itself's fault. I love it and I hate it at the same time.

I think it is much better to play with your friends online. Same team or not.

Well, thats it for now.

Where to begin?

I am a 22 year old male. Born an raised in Concord, MI. I graduated from Concord High School in 2007. I still live with my parents. The economy is so bad that every time I manage to save some money, something always happens, and I have to use it.

My parents and I have moved to Oswego, IL this past August. My father has a job with Navistar as a Field Service Engineer. My mother is currently unemployed, but is looking for a nanny position. I take that back. She has a party interested in her, for their unborn child. So my mom is just waiting for the kid to be born.

I just got a job at the Navistar parts warehouse in West Chicago in October. After a week of being there, I got hired in Full Time and moved down to the Joliet PDC (Parts Distribution Center). Navistar is in the process of shutting down the West Chicago PDC and moving everything down to Joliet. The Joliet facility is closer to I-80, so the parts will be delivered to the dealerships much faster.

I have a very simple job. In fact, its probably the easiest one I've ever had. When a dealership orders a part or parts, I go throughout the aisles in the building (which is huge. 16 NFL football fields can fit inside it.), Pick the parts, then when I'm finished with the picking, I pack it all up, print out a shipping label, and put in on a conveyor to be put onto a truck. That's it.

So for now, life is decent. I'm making money and trying to save it up go get out of here.